Towards Abstraction

When I first started painting, I put all my energy into representing things as they appeared. I felt I needed to demonstrate my ability to draw realistically, to capture colour and light realistically in my work to be seen as a real artist. Partly this had to do with the fact that I have always enjoyed observing people, places and objects closely. Partly it stemmed from the fact that I had entered a new world without any formal training. Unless I could prove to myself that I could depict a scene exactly as it existed, I felt like an impostor.

For five years I painted, almost exclusively, representationally. And then I discovered cold wax medium (CWM). So unique was the texture of this new medium, and so distinctive its look that fussing over a realistic scene with it seemed to be a missed opportunity. CWM was opening the door for me to try out something that had been capturing my imagination forever: texture! Impasto, three dimensional painting has always fascinated me. Well here was a chance to experiment with just that. I began working in a way that I never had, a much freer, headier way. I felt as if a new eye opened up within me. I did not want to restrict myself to a pre-determined colour palette or composition. I wanted to let go and play with just colour and simple shapes. It felt massively liberating not to be restricting myself to tight, detailed compositions and instead revel in the glory of simply texture, colour and the buttery magic on my palette. The marks I am making in my free works nowadays come from a deep, visceral place that I have never had access to before. I had never experienced working intuitively. I had never approached a painting not knowing exactly what I wanted to say. CWM has opened me up to abstraction. It has allowed me to become introduced to an artistic facet of myself that is new even to myself. The uncertainty of where I will end up in a painting and the process involved to reach it are thrilling in equal measure. It is a fast-paced, breathless run as much as it is measured, deliberate decision-making. And so I will often have three paintings ongoing at the same time - a representational work, and when I tire of the preciseness, the refinement that is an essential component of my style, two abstract works to free up my mind and my heart. Jackpot,